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Divors It is not until they receive divorce papers that many men realize their marriage was not going as well as they thought. As soon as they read the divorce papers, the first thing that pops into their mind is "How do I save my marriage?" For the first years of a marriage, couples are still riding on a high. The newness and freshness of the marriage still lingers during this period. But as time goes by, you become accustom to each other ways, habits and routines. As familiarity creeps into the relationship, it is quite normal for disagreements and fights to start. The fights happen as each partner tries to establish their role in the marriage. Some marriages are based on the man being the boss and setting the rules for the wife and children to follow. This can result in defiance, which leads to screaming and shouting matches. There can also be bouts of crying or a withdrawal into silence. If this is occurring in your marriage, you may need to get help from a professional that can provide some answers to solve your marriage problems. Some men think that everything is going smoothly in their marriage. It never dawn on them that their wives are unhappy and may be planning to escape from the marriage. Does this sound like you? Have You fallen into a comfort zone in your marriage and think that things are fine? Take the time to look closely at your relationship to see if there are any cracks in it. The reality is, your wife could be very unhappy. She could be arranging accommodations to leave the marriage. The truth is, everyone in a relationship falls into a comfort zone. You think everything is fine between the two of you. There has been no arguments.Things seems serene and peaceful. But, underneath the surface of a marriage may loom unrest and dissatisfaction. Check often to see how your partner is feeling about you. She may be experiencing thoughts and feelings that could threaten the security of your marriage. If you have been handed divorce papers and want to save your marriage, here’s what you need to do: First: Open the lines of communication. It is tempting to go rushing in with flowers saying "I love you" however you need to get your wife to start talking to you again. She needs to talk about how she feels and what she is thinking. Although your heart is aching, it is important to focus on your wife to save your marriage. The key is to get your wife to open up to you once again and look on you as her confidant. Good phrases to open up lines of communication are: – How can I make things better for you? – Tell me how you feel about us? – What can we do together to make things right between us again? Second: Avoid accusatory statements. Don’t say "how could you do this to me?" Guilt trips may work in the short-term,but after a while the guilt wears off and divorce papers rear their ugly head again. Do not threaten her with "If you leave me, I will never talk to you again." She is probably thinking "well, you never spoke to me when we were married anyway!" Third: Provide comfort and understanding. If you notice she is crying, comfort her. A shoulder to cry on could be just what she needs to know that you care. Be patience! It will take time for you to convince her that things are going to be different in your marriage. You will need to be tender, loving, and understanding for her to begin to see that she really is the the most important person in your world.You must convince her of how much she means to you. The divorce papers will then be put on hold — permanently! Don’t breathe a sigh of relief and fall back into old habits and your comfort zone, now that the divorce is off. If you do, the lines of communication will be closed again, and the divorce papers will come back into your life. Communicate with your wife everyday and find out how she’s feeling. Make an effort to keep your marriage alive. About the Author: 相关的主题文章: